Crazy Americans falling in love w Brit Sex Gods
by Mel0Yel003
Summary: It is after the war and a very single Draco Malfoy is working at the Ministry. Then one day he collides literally into a muggle, a very pretty muggle. Why does he keep running into her? Is she special? DracoOC some HBP spoilers later on.


Ah, Monday morning, his favorite day of the week. Most people discourage Mondays as boring and that day of the week you find yourself sprawled across your bedroom floor, next to your bed with the alarm clock unplugged and ten feet away from you. But this was a special Monday. One loverly word could describe this special Monday. Interns. He'd be getting new interns today. Interns to run his _so important_ errands. Oh! Of course they were important. Somebody had to make his coffee and send out his documents. A smug smirk spread across his face. He loved interns for their stress relieving properties. Oh they were terrible for his nerves, mark that. Last year he almost had a meltdown when one of them "accidentally", as he thought of it, blew up a mug hot tea in his face. You couldn't really discern if his face was red from being scorched with burning Earl Grey or from anger. But they were so easy to yell at. Everybody in his office was at least weary if not scared of him. But interns, who had heard of the Malfoy's terrible reputation, were the ones to truly tremble when he raised the volume of his voice.

Straightening his tie, he grabbed his cloak and exited his spacious London flat. _Ah, today would be perfect_, he thought.

Across town… 

Grabbing a sock from atop her dresser drawer she scramble to yank it free from the gooey mess it was stuck to. _Ewww_, she thought, _what is that? Probably gum_, she decided. With a ONE! TWO! PULL! she found herself flying across the room, landing in a heap on her bed. Grinning triumphantly she dangled her sticky sock in front of her face for a moment before pulling it onto her foot. Now standing with two socks on, one covered in some unknown substance (gum?) and her cotton panties and push-up bra she searched frantically for her pants. When she got home the other night, exhausted and coming from an all night study party, where had she thrown her pants? _AH HA_! she thought, _they were on top of the lamp_! Hurrying to pull the pants onto her legs, she grabbed a shirt from her drawer. Forcing the obviously broken in Queen shirt on she began to tie up the laces on her beat up trainers. She quickly put the right books in her backpack and grabbed her apartment keys from her nightstand. As she headed out the door in a flurry of limbs and fabric she thought, _Oh, _God! _I'm going to be late for class_!

"Hold that door!" she yelled at the people standing in the elevator. With a quick leap of faith she slid through the automated doors before they shut. Cramming herself into the tightly compact compartment with five other people she let out a sigh.

_I hope I'm not late for this exam final_, she thought,_ oh, I just know that I'm going to be late_. Her thoughts drifted. She was home sick. She missed her lovely suburban home back in Seattle with its large back yard, sitting in a neat row with all the other cute houses. Though her house was probably one the more ugly houses on the block, with its deep red bricks and bright baby blue paint. But for all its flaws she still loved it. She loved how tall the weeds would grow (no, not grass, just mainly weeds) during the summer, and when she sat in the middle of all them, she couldn't be seen by anyone. No one could tell the difference. She loved how you could squat down next to the gigantic raspberry bush on the east side of her lawn and eat the juicy berries until you stained your fingers red and still not have eaten even half of what was there.

She got off when she heard a PING! She raced through the lobby and out the front doors. _Hmmm… _she thought, looking down on her worn out converses, _should I just try my luck and run like there's no tomorrow?_ She looked at someone's bike leaning innocently on the bike rack, not tied up. _Or… _she thought with a smirk. _I don't think they'll miss it all that much._ She grabbed the bike a sat on the seat and started peddling. _Haha, sucka._

Just then, an irate French man ran out from the store he was in and started chasing her. Dropping his groceries from his arms he yelled, "_Arrêt! Revenez ici!_" Stop! Get back here!

_Shit!_ She thought _God damit bike! Peddle faster!_

By now the man had told an officer and they were both running after her. _Oh my God! I'm going to get arrested! Not before I take my final! Just wait and hour! PLEASE!_

She dogged around a few people (which is hard to do on a bike) and went through an ally way. She lost sight of them after a few blocks. Of course she would return the bike when she was done with it. _Oh no _she thought _my test!_ But she didn't see a man with platinum blond hair until it was too late to stop.

Just a few minutes earlier… 

Walking out of the lobby, Draco Malfoy thought that today would be like all of his other workdays. What he didn't know was that as he was walking down the sidewalk (silly him he wanted to get some exercise and decided not to apparate to work today), passing right in front of certain alleyway, this was the day that would mark all the coming days for the rest of his life.

Just as he stepped right in front of the alley an insane cyclist quickly ran him down. He landed in undignified heap on the sidewalk, sprawled out spread eagle. He got up and dusted himself off. Put at this point he was so mad at the foolish rider that he didn't think of using his wand to scourgify his clothing.

The unfortunate bicyclist had landed on the street curb in a tangled mess with her bike. She was quite still for a while till Draco heard her moan. Oh, if they thought he was rough on his employees, just wait till she was conscious enough for him to give her the lecture of her life.

"Are you awake?" he asked in a monotone voice.

All that responded to him was a string of curses that would make a sailor blush.

"Good," he said. As he stepped closer he saw that it was in fact a woman, her long brown hair splayed out around her head, a grimace on her face. She looked up at him.

"Oh, God, my head," she groaned. She closed her eyes again be sitting up straight.

"Shit!" she yelled, "I'm late! Well, later than I already was, but I'm still late!" It was then that she really noticed the man that she ran over hovering over her with an irritated look on his face.

"Oh! I am sooo sorry! I didn't even see you there. Let me help get some of that dirt off you," she offered, standing her bruising body and trying to dust off his lapel. He swatted her hands away impatiently.

"Don't touch me! Do you even know who I am? Probably not, filthy muggle. I want an apology for so rudely affronting me. Don't stand there with your mouth open all day! Quick! I have to be somewhere right this moment," he said this all with an air of superiority

She stared at him like a fish out of water, gulping in breathes of what the poor, unfortunate creature wished was water. She narrowed her eyes dangerously.

"Well, I'm sooooo sorry Mister I-am-not-a-people-person! And if you could get it though that obviously small cranium of yours, I had already apologized to you before and graciously offered help you look more presentable, you didn't want that. And what the hell is a muggle? Is that some offensive word in your weird messed up swearing system? Well, I got a few choice words for you buster," she exclaimed, the words seemed drip with sarcasm like a Hershey's candy bar melting quickly in 90 degree weather, they pounded out of her mouth in a rush like a canon's BOOM.

She looked around for her knapsack that had flown off her back in the collision, finding it tucked away safely under a red Toyota. Grabbing the backpack from it's hiding place she rifled through it till she found she was so keenly looking for. It was a small travel size book, a gag joke from her brother a couple years ago when she told him he was going to college in London. It contained British slang on one side of the page and the exact of meaning of that word (I mean EXACT) its morphology (1). She found it quite useful in her stay here in the Land of the Tosh to figure out what people were actually saying and what to say in return.

She walked back up to her snotty stranger and flipped to random pages in the little book. Stopping on one she deemed suitable she began her sentence as such:

"How dare you, you snotty wanker," Draco's eyebrows shot up to his hairline. "You," Flip flip flip, " disgusting maggoty roach!" Flip flip flip, "You are off your trolley you posh arse!" Flip flip flip, "Go suck and egg you nark!" she ended her rant with a flip of her hair, an angry growl, and swiftly grabbed her pack from the ground, depositing her handy little book in side it before tying the top tight and swinging it onto her back. _The nerve of that…that… oh could just!_ She thought furiously and she picked up the broken bike to lean it on the wall of the building close to her. At first she thought he was kinda hot when she first looked up at him. _He looked like an angel_ she thought. Then he opened up his mouth and rudeness poured out. She snorted. _Yeah, a devil in angels clothing._ She walked away as fast as she could from this odd confrontation and hoped her professor would let her make up the exam. She didn't know that this confrontation would change everything in her life from that moment she and that handsome stranger exchanged words (ahhh, foreshadowing. I just love it :D). Well, she did most of the talking.

For Draco's part, he just stood there and watched her leave with a confused expression on his facial features. He finally gathered himself and cursed at his stupidity (men do that a lot in FanFiction don't they? Curse at their stupidity I mean). He walked off in angry mood. He thought this day would be a nice day. He thought he would do the yelling. God help the poor interns.

Well? Hmmm… I don't think it's too bad. I have this idea on my mind for months. I really wanted to get this chapter out before I went to camp, TOMORROW! I feel bad starting a new fic when I have another one on the plate and I haven't even posted a second chapter yet! In SEVEN MONTHS! See what a bad updater I am? Put don't worry. I'm gonna get the second chapters up for both stories before schools starts. I won't badger you to review but I would like it if you did. This is my first Harry Potter fic and since I love that sexy blond dragon I wanted to make a fic with him in it. I'm not sure what the plot is gonna be yet, but it will revolve around the two main characters: Draco and what's-her-name. That's another problem. I don't know what the heroine is gonna be called. How about you, the reader, tell me what you would like the woman to fall arse over elbows in love with our darling Draco should be called? OR… you can look from the selection below and pick out of them what you like. YAY! POLLS!

Jennifer (plain) … (no offense to Jennifers)

Some name that's the name of a flower, you pick (O.K)

Jill (even plainer) … (no offense to Jills)

God! Might as well name her Jane Doe!

Some ditsy blond name (no offense to blonds)

That's about it. But if you have a name your self and you don't like the selection (don't blame ya) you can send it in with your review:) I'll consider it. Well, bye-bye for now! And I'm gonna give a quick shout out to effingpot dot com for the British slang. And now for the disclaimer!

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter! gasp


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